I am

    For the sake of continuity:    
I got myself a new blog!

I'll be keeping this blog (hopefully I don't forget to keep logging in once in a while) just to preserve my (usually embarrassing) thoughts and memories.

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

–F. Scott Fitzgerald

Enchanted Farm

August 1, 2011. I got to go with some JTA friends to Gawad Kalinga's Enchanted* Farm in Bulacan. I was planning to go there before when it was visited by the president and all (for extra credit) but the rains were intense the night before and the day itself so ohwell. But, luckily, the trip was offered again so I took it. Honestly, I just wanted to go because I wanted a roadtrip (not because my heart is golden. Haha.). It was after extremely stressful weeks that all I wanted to do after were relax and randomly do things. How could I pass up on a roadtrip? So I went. I had no idea what we were gonna do there but it was fun. :))

*Apparently, the place is called Brgy. Engkanto but for marketing purposes, it was renamed Enchanted Farm. Lalang, found it interesting.
The trip's goal (I think) is to introduce us to the many benefits of social entrepreneurship and to inform us of the opportunities offered by Gawad Kalinga. Social Entrep is such a famous concept in school, activities/projects/trips always focus on social entrepreneurship. We attempted to join this competition on social entrepreneurship (our product was supposed to convert used cooking oil from cafs and restos to diesel), we backed out because we found out we were competing against food products and a huge criteria was sales. Plus it was supposed to be sold during som week and it would be sooo weird to have a stall there selling diesel, plus, as always, we were cramming like crazy so yeah. I can't say I'm interested in social entrep, sure I believe in it, but I've always believed it's not for me. I don't event wanna own a business because you need a lot of money to make a lot of money.

Top to Bottom. Bamboo Palace under construction. It is going to be made out of pure bamboo, no nails and stuff; JTAers; playing under the rain. Photos from Anj Poe and Macky del Rosario

Paradigms. After the trip, though, at least I could say it made me consider it for a while. Everyone talked about a paradigm shift. They keep saying that we need to have this change to be able to see the potential of our country because it can't be easily seen. It's there but we can't see it. Like in philo, sometimes it's harder to see when you're in it or you're so near it. Naks. So they said there are so many resources, yada yada, sounds like my research paper actually (government should invest in marine research). They said that we think too small that we can't dream big. It's so ironic that the weekend before this I was in an AIESEC thing and they showed that in the Philippines, there is a culture of thinking small. And I was like, heey, that's kinda true and here I was, I though, thinking too small. What's interesting in paradigm shifts is you will always try and consider it, at least in my case. If they're already claiming that there is this paradigm then learning from the tons of movies I watched and some books I've read, where we act as a third party observer and we feel so smart "seeing" that these people are indeed stuck in a paradigm that clearly needs to change then you would really need to stop and think. When someone presents me with a 'paradigm', I'm always challeneged to be that smart third party observer and see for myself but obviously, this is much more difficult because you're a character in the story, you're not the seemingly omniscient narrator and it's difficult to see things for what they are. Well, so there's the challenge and again like any other paradigm shift challenges, it made me think.  Maybe I am thinking too small, even if I convince myself that I can't start a business after school because it's not practical for me, at least now, I'll always stop and reflect if I'm saying this because I am in this certain paradigm that those speakers were talking about. Diba, at least.  Awesome capitalism. Another thing that made me consider social entrep as something I could do is the amazing help GK is offering budding social entrepreneurs. How to be a social entrepreneur in Enchanted Farm (this is what I absorbed). 1. Present a business plan. The hardcore business people will see if it's worth something, or modify and suggest things to make it more feasible and promising. Hoho. 2. They lend you capital. 3. You get to work on their land for free. It's a farm. So you raise your animals there, or you plant random important-substance-containing plant or whatever, and it's free. 4. You train your workers, and the workers are those who live in the village. An important point of social entrep is that as you grow rich, you also make those who work with you rich. I consider this as awesome capitalism. 5. The hardcore business people with tons of experience will be there to guide you as you grow your business. With all those things, my reasons for not wanting to have a business were shot down one after the other. About the 'gaining experience first' reason, that was also shot down by this speaker who worked in a multinational and said that he did not learn anything there that he could apply to building a business. He said if your reason for going corporate is to gain experience on starting a business, you're just BS-ing yourself. If he said, you wanna be rich first before going to business, then that's fine. And so, I have decided to try and do that. I will try and be rich first, do what I wanna do and when my life's pretty okay already, then I'll give social entrep a shot. But again, it's tempting to be one of the first social entreps, and like what the speaker said, our goal is to try and create a "Nestle" for the Philippines. If that happens, and I hope it would (just like the thousands of houses happening), then I think it would be extremely rewarding to be part of that 'Nestle', not just in heart but also in your bank account. :)) (I told you, I don't have a golden heart. Haha.)

This one's my favorite because of the owners. So this is co-owned by this girl, her name is Cherrie Atilano. She's an Agriculture graduate, won this big award, I think it's 10 Most Outstanding Students in the Philippines, worked for Ayala Land and has been part of many high-end projects, like Boni High Street. She left them to work for GK and start this social entrep. She also turned down a Fulbright scholarship to invest time in her business. She is truly thinking big because her goal is for the Philippines to be the number one supplier of bamboo in someplace (Asia or the world? Sorry I forgot), something like that. She is also trying to import different breeds of bamboo and try and make it grow here in the country. Awesome awesome thing to do, it's amazing. She plans to display the products in the Bamboo Palace currently being constructed. Oh they're also selling Bambike. I got to ride it. Yaay. :))

This one is co-owned by my awesome Finance teacher. :))

I don't know much about this but it seems just as awesome. :) Photos from Anj Poe

There are also other business like Theo and Philo (Chocolates, apparently, our country does not manufacture its own chocolate), EnchanTea (guessed the spelling, it's pretty good), Golden Egg (salted eggs but gold instead of red), and others I think that we weren't able to taste or see. Awesome, awesome, but they're right, you need balls to be this awesome. I hope I got to write the correct things here and well if you wanna know more, just google it, it's there. Or just go to the farm. :)

Random realizations. Totally unrelated to the post, written down for future reference. Ang dami ko palang gusto and deadma pala talaga ako at its truest sense. Sucks. I shall work on that.

P.S. The format's messed up. I think it's time to make a new blog. :))

I woke up feeling heavy hearted. I'm going back to where I started. The morning rain. And though I wish that you were here on that same old road that brought me here. Is calling me home.

Trying to beat the odds

I've been feeling like I had to write something soon since all I've been doing recently is sleep and watch and sleep and watch. Also, since my soul brothaaa Jose included me in his blogroll which makes me feel like I need to write something regularly, it's kinda like shizz baka may magbasa na ng blog ko (because again, I've had this blog for years and only a few of my friends knew about it. I only started tweeting my blog this year, I think.) Plus, Jose's blog (josecuarvo.wordpress.com) is freaking full of words I don't know - writer skilzz, so opposite my cheesy blog posts. So yeah, feel ko naman I had to write something, so here we go.

Cooking Shows. The downside (or not) of having so much free time is you get to think of things that 'actually' matter. I mean, honestly, during the sem I just do my best to stuff all kinds of information in my head, not really knowing why I'm doing it. I just know I have to. Also, free time means (for me) a lot of TV and it just so happens that I always get to watch cooking shows, Masterchef Australia (junior and the not junior) and Hell's Kitchen. And everytime I get to watch Masterchef, since supposedly they're amateurs, they have other jobs but they simply love cooking, it always makes me think that these people are taking their chances at doing something else, and that something else is what they really wanna do. Cheesy but true. It's the whole point of the show. And again all the other cooking shows, these chefs, they seem so happy and it always seems like they live exciting lives. Haay. No, I don't wanna be a chef, I think. I can barely fry an egg. But, what do I wanna be, anyway? It has always been a huge question for me, I really don't know what I want. I would love to be a writer (not a novelist, more of a magazine contributor or something). I also would love to be a marine biologist, just diving in all the beautiful waters of the world. I'd love to be a dancer or a photographer (though I've no patience studying and tinkering with the slr). Writing all these things down just reinforces that I'm way off base with my course, but then again I would love to go corporate and powerdress and present and have an office with a fantastic view, well, as long as I get to travel. I know slightly gasgas na ang topic of travelling in my posts so far, but watching the Move, Eat, Learn videos which have been recurring on my newsfeed just thew me into again, thinking of all the places I wanna go to. So if you haven't seen it, it's easy to google, it's on vimeo. So they are a group of three guys and they went to 11 countries and just did amazing things and filmed it. I didn't cry but I almost did, I don't know why, it's just so... good. :)) Aside from thinking of the places I wanna go to, it made me realize, again, that if I wanna travel, I need to find a travelling buddy soon. I don't wanna travel alone, it's scary. I can barely explore QC on my own. I remember my Histo teacher who has so many stories about her travels and her friends. She'd share that they just call up each other like, "Hey, let's go to Egypt." and that's it. Haay. Inggit.

So what do I really want? I wanna swim in Bali. I wanna have a jumpshot on the Great Wall. I wanna see people in kimonos in Japan. I wanna play with snow in Korea. I wanna see if the pyramids are as majestic as everyone claims. I wanna see the inside of Taj Mahal. I wanna have a picture of me 'pushing' the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I wanna skydive in South Africa. I wanna eat pizza in Naples. I wanna run up and down the stairs in Greece. I wanna see the Mayan Temples. I wanna see the Stonehenge and imagine aliens building it. I wanna party in Brazil. I wanna surf in Australia. BUT I wanna live in the Philippines. Libre mangarap.

Rebuilding my Playlist. Yes, my entire playlist because my brother was dead wrong in teaching me how to transfer music from my ipod to the pc. Looong story. It is frustrating, yes, but not so much. I've been wanting to change my playlist since ever but never having the time, and more importantly, the guts to actually delete some songs to make room for new ones. The only sad thing there is my pa-artsy bands got deleted too and I'm not sure if I can find them easily. They were from my busmate in high school because he's artsy and deep and all, and he gave me these bands to listen to. I miss those bands and I miss listening to songs that are not too mainstream. I have no problem with mainstream music, but it's nice to have something that's pretty different. So the first artists I put are Plain White T's and Taylor Swift. Judge away! :)) This leads me to my thoughts on my "being cultured", but that's going to be a long one so I'll save that for next time. 

Prepping. For HK. No actual packing and stuff yet just random thoughts like should I bring a national costume? Which camera should I bring, etc. I feel like  I'm not emotionally preparing myself for this trip but I also think I'm overthinking it. I'm more convinced of the latter. Plus, all previous JTAers said: Just dive. Also, the previous guy who went to HK said in his returning report that if there was one thing he could change, he said he wished he wasn't so "prepared" to go there. He said everyone told him what to do, where to go, and how to do these things and looking back, he'd have preferred that he learned all those things on his own. Not my style, but I was pretty convinced with it. But, a friend of mine went to HK and got me tons of maps for me to look at. Destiny wants me to at least have an idea of the place I'll be going to. Thank you Bernice. :D Because of these maps, na-excite tuloy ako. Haha.

So yeah, basically, these are the things that are occupying my head these days. I've also finally finished the video I promised my friends about our trip in Pangasinan last July. I'd post it here but my LJ is too basic, it can't support videos. I think and I don't know how to embed from vimeo. Technophob talaga.

P.S. Look at my fingernail. Yes, people, that is a strawberry! (I'll share more on that later. :) )

Something has to make you run.
I don't know why I didn't come.

Keep it simple, stupid. 

(no subject)

So to put everything into context, I am now officially free of JTA Sem 1 school woooooork! It's so ironic, the topic chosen for me was about freedom and after my orals, as soon as Sir said, "Okay iyon lang, tapos na tayo." I literally squealed and saaid, "Freeedooooom!!!" I walked out of Dela Costa with this huge smile on my face and I just pictured myself, well, doing nothing. Priceless. So, moving on from this joyful moment (my soul is still smiling right now), what I really wanna write about is:

So, what's four months?

I mean really, what does 'four months' really mean? It sounds grammatically incorrect but whatever, I'm talking about the whole four-month period, okay. :)) I started thinking about this when I ran into my wonderful friend Mike in Mcdo last Wednesday. I was supposed to be on my way to Renan's dorm but I just had to talk to Mike [I'm totally breaking my blog name rules but whatever]. He always just happens to have the right words to say, regardless if he knows everything or nothing about any backstory you might have. So, I told him I'm freaking out about  my being gone for four months OR rather the people I luuurve (cheesy) being away from me for four months (among other things). Four months, a million things can happen in four months, actually, a million things will happen in four months, even more, depending on what things you count. I mean seriously. This is one of those things I was thinking about before applying. I can already imagine coming back to people talking about stories I've no idea of and I think I already pictured my fake laugh with the oh-really-that's-great face. It's an awful picture. Or not, I'm not really sure anymore. 
So Mike told me I should quit stressing over the four month thing because everything can happen in four months but also nothing can happen in four months, or something can happen for two months then nothing can happen for the next two months and all the possible combinations of those days. This would be so much clearer if I revealed the context of this but that would be too embarrassing, this works anyway right? So what he's saying is that, I can't really be sure what is going to happen in four months - at all. Zilch. So what is the point of stressing over it?
(I had to stop my entry because I had to go back to school last Friday to fix some things but I'm continuing my entry now.)

Haay, it's just the thought of leaving behind so many things (feel ko naman magmimigrate ako) and shizz and so many things left hanging and you don't even know if they're hanging strongly enough. It's like the summer before college all over again and I remember how that turned out. And in both cases, it's always because I suck and it's always because I find out too late because always, as in always, I try to ignore these things. It just sucks knowing you're doing all the same mistakes before and still you don't have the guts to change them. Whatever, let the chips fall where they want to.
Four months. For all I know, after four months I wouldn't even remember why I was stressing over this or worse (or better) I wouldn't even remember what I was talking about here - but I seriously doubt that. I guess all I can really do is just hope that everyone and everything in my life changes for the better in the span of four months and I seriously hope that nothings and no one gets left behind, especially meeee. And in the words of Katy Perry, "No regrets, just love."
We'll be seeing each other soon.
Captured moments of JTA Sem 1. Whee.
Unforgettable learning experiences. Haha.
Team Colorful. We should really call each other as Murphy's Law group. Seriously, everything that could go wrong went wrong with us but honestly, if getting rid of kamalasan would mean breaking us up, no thaanks. (Naaks) Wethebeest group ever, I thank God that I went through everything with you guys this sem. :) 

COA F&M ExTeam and ME JTA 2011. Awesome people. Let's not forget please. :)
Nineteen. My birthday that was supposed to be a drinking session but turned into a pizza dinner. Jut told me many life-changing things during this night, I'm still thinking about them, boo, nagrereflect tuloy ako.We're not complete here but ohwell. Plus, I forgot to bring a camera. :)) Anyway, this was one of the best nights of this sem. I love you people.



Only those who will risk going too far can possible find out how far they can go. -T.S. Elliot When will I ever learn?

The jelly isn't set.

Once upon a time there was a boy named  Peter Pan who decided not to grow up
So he flew away to Neverland where the Pirates are
What fun he must have had
Yes, but he was rather lonely.

He needed a Wendy.
Why a Wendy?
He liked my stories.
What stories?
Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty
Love stories?
Adventures! In which good triumphs over evil!
They all end in a kiss.
A kiss. He does feel! He feels about you.
She told him stories. He taught her how to fly.
-Peter Pan

Something really random entered my head this week, an addition to my Life Plan! Whee. So after I get rich, get happy and find true love, I wanna open a shop, something like a thrift shop, the kind of shop where you find all the weird and unique little things. This all started when my mom mentioned that she was wearing a shirt she bought from Eastside. Eastside is this really small store in our village in front of one of the houses. It's closed now but we used to go there all the time. I always wanted to come with my mom would visit that store, I find really unique things there. I used to buy keychains that look so different, I can barely make them out in my head (I was that young) I just remember that I could open them and see little intricate things inside. I don't even remember that they sold clothes there, til my mom mentioned it recently. Anyways, so my store will be something like that. Small, quaint, something that has a lot of character. In my head, I will sell things I got from my travels (yes my traveeelsss, it's also in my life plan), so it'll have that theme more or less, traveling the world and adventures and shizz. I seriously could picture it in my head in the car that morning. I'd put up this huge map near the counter, then customers will be given pins or whatever and make them stick the pins to wherever they wanna go. I've always had "Buy a huge map" in my to-do list, but I still don't have one, I haven't even tried looking for one - for a lot of reasons. One, I keep forgetting. Two, I don't know if my mom would allow me to stick something on my wall (we have issues about me sticking things on my walls, I did it a lot when I was a kid. I stuck Ghost Fighter stickers everywhere. :)) ). Three, I know it would suck when I can only get to stick two pins there in that map. I mean  it would really suck, for example, after 10 years, my map is still so pin-less and that would devastate me. But I guess I'm looking at this the wrong way, and I've realized I always look at things this way, I should just put the map up in that wall and just whatever. It's gonna remind me of what I wanna do and where I wanna go and if after 10 years, it's still so empty then that's that. I just hope I'm happy with whatever it is I'm doing instead. :))
Another solid addition to my life plan is to be a licensed diver. "Solid" because I know I'd really do it someday, I'm just putting it on my list just to really force me in case our plans (in the family) of scuba diving don't push through. :)) I've been wanting to dive since we went to Puerto Galera, I think I was in first year high school. While we were island hopping, the manong told us if we wanted to 'snorkel', so their version of snorkeling is you stay down in the water, grap a rope while the boat goes all the way back to the beach. I loooved it and I can never forget about it. I mean, yeaah, I know there are corals and fish and all down there but to actually see it, it's amazing. It's like a totally different world there and there's a huge garden underwater just waiting to be explored. It reminded me of those huge gardens in castles in movies. Awesome. So I just remembered this because I heard on the radio that this guy dove and went inside an old ship that sunk long ago in Subic. I wanna do that someday after I get my license.
As for Peter Pan and the dramatic space afterwards, it's just of putting my mess of a feelings out there. Haaa. Seriously, when the stress coincides with that time of the month, my feelings go craazy and I know they're just going crazy but seriously I get sad and down and it makes me think things I normally ignore, or don't even realize existing. Anyways, I would've shared my feelings but the moment's gone and I'm a lot more stable now and my tweets have calmed down so yeah I'll just put that excerpt of Peter Pan. I saw part of the movie this week when I was about to take a bath then I reached this scene and when it was playing... dayyyymmm. :)) She told him stories. He taught her how to fly. Definitely one of my favorites from now on. Haay, it sucks that this always happens to me. In the words of PShone in Crazy Little Thing Called Love matched with wrong subtitles, "Why our time never right?" Plus whatever, Waka Waka played last night, but honestly, it doesn't make me feel any better. Gash, I  can't dwell on this anymore. Seriously I'm gonna end up hating you. Okay, stop na. :)) Happy thoughts Happy thoughts.
You just think happy thoughts. They life you into the air.
So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me.
No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me.

I know it.

Since it's too late to do anything 'productive', I'd rather just blog (really quickly) about random thoughts this morning in Philo class. I think I suck at Philosophy and this will probably be extremely mababaw, but whatever. We've been reading and discussing Descartes Meditations of First Philosophy and I think so far the fourth meditation is the one that's most uuh, get-able. :)) 

So basically it just says that God did not give us imperfect faculties of intellect or will. Instead, our will extends beyond what our intellect can reach and every time we exercise our will over something that out intellect has no idea of, that's when we make our mistakes. So this totally made sense to me, not like the other meditations. :)) Then our teacher used the example of marriage. When you marry someone, you want to spend your lifetime with another person. You will it and well you got it. But, you don't know this 'lifetime', you have no idea what will happen 5 or 10 years from now. So I'm guessing the example was for exercising will over something we don't clearly know about; and this could be a source of error on our part. 

So, cheese alert. The first thing that came into my head is, love is irrational. Supposedly it is, right? I wouldn't know but well it seems extremely irrational sometimes, but hey, they make people extremely happy too. Then next I thought that well this just illustrates that, really, love is just this huge leap, as in it's something that just happens by 'chance.' I thought about this because the reading said that whenever we exercise our will over something we don't know of, it's either we make a mistake or if we don't, this is purely attributed to luck. And all I could really think was, love relies heavily on luck. This is not new and countless songs have been sung about being lucky in finding that one person, that one person. Haay, it's just amusing to see it in another perspective. 

High risk, high return. It's something we constantly hear in Finance these days but I first heard these words from my 4th year teacher, and he's totally right and I guess this applies to almost everything. I miss how he almost always relates econ concepts to love, it as always been ...enlightening. :)) Plus, it sticks. :D

Totally unrelated but I just want to post a picture of me with my awesome friends, recently in Hundred Islands, Pangasinan.

It will come.


It's barely been a week through my new sem and I'm already freaking out about everything but well, my friends would say, lagi naman akong ganito, but really, I'm overwhelmed. I just feel like things are starting to fall down out of nowhere and it's piling right in front of my face and it hasn't stopped. But, still, since I got to watch Lizzie McGuire the Movie recently (while I switched the channel from the Royal Wedding) I've got a new song stuck in my head, "The tide is high but I'm holding on, I'm gonna be your number one. I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that." Yes, it is grade-school-old and I love it. Don't deny you do too. :))

So, before I come diving into this new sem and as I promised, I'd share how my second sem through tons of pictures, and I didn't have time to make them into a .gif or whatever, so I just put everything here. I used to describe my this sem as a 'series of bad choices'. I felt I made so many wrong choices at the beginning and I felt I was going to be as stressed as ever. This was 'wrong' since supposedly it was our chill sem, but, Thank you God I was wrong. My series of bad choices turned out to be really great choices, and I'm guessing given the chance I'd take all those 'bad' choices again because all of those gave me these memories (see pictures) and much much more. I didn't have the time to gather everything that I would have wanted to share but I'm guessing this is it more or less, well, these were from my "Photos of Me" in fb, so I'm guessing it covers the majority of my sem. :))
I call this: 
The Best of SY 2010-2011 Sem II

Parties. My wonderful friends and I started the sem by going to Shindig. It was awesome. I think it's the biggest so far, though I've only gone to two, plus I got to see this Hercules look-alike in the fashion show. He was amazing and I just saw him in a commercial this week. Amazing. After, we were just walking around The Fort and taking pictures beside lamp posts and doing crazy random things just because. The third picture is in the AIMES TriParty, the TriParty is always nice because I have friends from UP IE, actually my bestest friends in the world are IE but they didn't come because it was 'far'. Boo but it was still fun. 

Dinner(/)Parties. E thew a Christmas party at her house just because. I just came from my first Accounting LT and I didn't feel like I died so it was a great feeling. I had NSTP the next morning, so that Friday, I had a huge overnight bag with me and I put it in my locker in the second floor in a far building (one of my 'bad' choices). I didn't know they locked the second floor so I had no overnight bag, but I went to E's of course with the same clothes. Had a lottaafuun, slept at the bottom of their stairs for around 2 hours, got picked up went to NSTP, asked my friend E (different one) to get my bag and then changed in my car then went to NSTP. Yes, I must admit, that was not very hygienic of me, but I had no choice. :( At least I was honest about it. :)) One of the worst-best experiences ever. Second one's A's birthday and entry to the true adult world. I came from a practice, at least had a change of clothes but had no way of getting to dinner, so I decided to man up and ride a taxi at night, for the first time. Plus, I got to beat my guy blockmates in bowling. American feminism, maan. :)) 


Debuts. I'm guessing this is the last wave debuts for me. :( That's why I'm so thankful I got to attend these. First one was super fun even though I wasn't really close to the guests there but it was awesome as you can see, plus J got really drunk and he was so funny. Second one's B's 18th, her theme was Street and the theme was really there. Unlimited isaw, siomai and dirty ice cream for the win. Last one's A's 18th, I was so touched she invited me. She's one of my close grade school friends and I used to stay at her place before we went to our Jazz classes. I will always miss those days.


Dancesports. This was supposed to be another one of my 'bad' choices because it was very demanding but again, I found it to be super fun and I hate to use this word but it was fulfilling. I got to complete my Dance PEs, I got to meet great people and great dancers like my partner P. We won a lot of things together unexpectedly. We awesome. 


Fun Things. So I  don't know how to categorize these but they were fuun. First one's ProNation, an org project. It was a fun run and our call time was 3:30 am I think, and I woke up at 4 am. I rushed like I've never rushed before and got to school around 4:15 so excuse my appearance please. :)) Second picture's for our Histo play, again one of my 'bad' choices, because again it demanded so much from me, not just the play but basta. But again in the end it paid off and it was really fun and I'd do it all again. I played the lead by the way, and we're almost all guys. It's a French Rev play and I had to be a serious guy, I hate being the serious guy, I forgot 2 paragraphs of my speech but whatever, no one cut my head for it. Whee. Awesome groupmates and experience. Third one's our NSTP party/amazing race thing, it was the last one. I got exempted from NSTP because of this project, that I'm still going to blog about it in the future, and I only got to attend this one and I found it really fun and somewhat touching (seryoso) because the kids still remembered me and they were still as warm as ever. Aww. Last picture's from our Baguio trip which I already shared I think. Can't say anything about it other than it was awesome. Sorry for the lack of adjectives. :))

So there. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that two years from now (hopefully!) I would be working out there in the real world. Oh well, one step at a time, one sem at a time. :) FYI, in all events up there where I was wearing make up, I am proud to say I did all those. I've come a long way. Yaay.

It's never how it's supposed to be.


Remember the Subject called Reading

Happy Easter Monday! Today's the last day of my summer vacation (but not summer hopefully!) So I had a lot of things lined up to do for my almost one month break, this included learn basic Cantonese and resume my doing yoga for abs, but as always I never got to do them which is how it's supposed to be, I guess. So anyway, one of the big things in my list is to read at least three books. [I will now try and break my post into paragraphs, though I don't particularly like doing that, because supposedly it looks more appealing to read. I've been trying a lot of things lately, like the new Yahoo Mail, I've been using Classic ever since. Just sharing.]

I'm not a reader. By reader, I mean those people who read books for leisure, or those who actually look for good books in the library and do not just read bestsellers. I'd like to think I used to one because I had so many books before and I go to the library to actually borrow books. I remember it was rare before to have to get a second library card because your first one was filled already, and I had a second library card. I'm awesome. But I guess I lost the time to read in high school and I only read the required books (I barely read them actually, I relied heavily on pinkmonkey and sparknotes. Boo me.) So, entering college, I promised myself to read more books, especially classics, because I know I'd be missing a lot if I don't. Well, so far, after high school, I think I got to read three classics. :)) Achievement yun, okay. So great. 

So I was planning to read Hunger Games on my Tita's iPad but I got distracted by Lord of the Fireflies. I know it's some famous book and I've always wanted to read it, so I started with that. But the problem with borrowing things is that my Tita kept asking for her iPad and I never got to finish reading the book, so obviously, I didn't even get to read Hunger Games. So sad. On top of that, I think half of my break was spent fixing JTA requirements that was shockingly so hard to complete. I basically found myself in school all the time, running around it and outside it. At least I found some fun between those trips but I didn't reach my target of three books. I got to read one though, I'll share that later. Hmm, where am I going with this? :)) So while I was running around school, again, I had something photocopied in LS bookstore and I found this book display thing, the one that spins, and it was full of Adarna books. 

Kids' Stories So Adarna books are these very short stories for kids, most of them legends and really cute stories. I grew up with these books. I have a Tito who, by my definition, is a reader. He used to give me a LOT of books, really nice books. I remember having books that have really great illustrations, painted by great artists. So, my 20something collection of Adarna books were all given to me by my Tito and I've read each one of them over and over. Almost all of these books have english translations beside them.

My Top Three

I guess what I love about these books is that they're always so charming and they explain things in a unique way (in my opinion). Like in Nasaan na si Kuya Emil, I love how the little kid was so convinced that her brother was abducted because he was acting so strangely (but it was simply because he was going through puberty), and in Chenelyn, Chenelyn the kid was also so convinced that her yaya was a superhero because she could do so many things for every single member of their family, though it was never mentioned that Chenelyn was their helper. I just loved Alamat ng Ampalaya, I guess because of the really cute pictures, especially where the vegetables would take off their "clothes" and Ampalaya would later on steal them. I remember also that there's a page in the book where the lesson would be explained by the author, that part was supposed to be for the adults.

That stack in that bookstore really made me remember all these stories I read before. I love all of them, I also had this mini collection of stories on Pilandok and his adventures. Gosh, memories. I remember having the Children's Story project in second year. I was so excited to do it and well, I think my story was so Adarna. Well, where else would I learn how to write these things, I guess. I also wrote this short story in Grade 6 "Alamat ng Mais". It got published in Junior Inquirer and is now currently hanging on top of my dresser. Oo, proud ako. :))

Maybe I was not meant to be a novel-reader, maybe I'm built to read short stories. After all, I love reading collections of short stories, I think I've read all of Neil Gaiman's anthologies already. I love that guy. Well, maybe, I love him for his twisted imagination too, just like in Adarna. It's not that twisted but it still twisted in the way because it uses kids' imagination. Mmm, children's storybook writer, I will definitely try that when I'm retired (or earlier, I have the guts), even to just get it published in Junior Inquirer again, that would be enough. :) (Though I just realized there are no more short stories featured in JI, not like before when every issue had a short story. Ohwell.)

About the one thing I read this summer, it's Elixir by Hilary Duff. I borrowed it from E. It has a nice story, it was written okay lang. Hilary Duff's just a co-author though (I'm a closet fan of hers, or in C's terms, glass closet fan since I don't really bother to hide it). It's a nice read, and it's short, don't be fooled by the thickness, it's in huge letters. :)) Not that huge, but definitely not the usual small. 

I should probably be fixing my things for tomorrow already: first day and I'm freaking out! I will try and blog later about my previous sem, hopefully. But whatever, I should add another thing on my dreams list: Have a children's book published. - Duly noted. 

When you're happy like a fool, let it take you over. 

Firsts of Summer


Photo taken by: N
Styled by: A
Edited by: Moi

Bandwagon.  I wanted something artsy fartsy in my blog, so it's prettier to look at? Well, almost all the other blogs I'm following have artsy stuff but that's probably because they're either fashion blogs or tumblrs. But for the record, I do not consider myself artsy, I cannot draw, or paint, or take nice pictures (I love point and shoot cameras and I use Auto everytime I use an SLR.), I can't even keep up with photoshop despite the many photoshop classes I've attended. Well, I guess that depends on how you define artsy, I don't wanna use the word art, it has an air of seriousness, so let's not use that. :)) Back to the definition of artsy, I at least consider myself creative when it comes to crafts, cards, scrapbooks (If I can make enough money from scrapbooking to satisfy my many wants, I'd definitely do it.) So yeah. I was so tempted to leave the series of pictures like that with the title, but that just would not be me. So, as always, I have to go and talk about it (and ruin anything that could make it subtle or deep or could make it have multiply meanings in so many dimensions. :)) )

So I chose the title "Feel" simply because I was thinking of making "Feelingera" as the title, but again that would destroy the artsy fartsy mood I was aiming for, so I settled for Feel. :)) So this photo was taken for my friend A's SA project. She had this photoshoot showing two things: I don't remember the exact terms, basta it's something like being free and being constrained. This one is the part that's supposed to show being free, well, I hope it shows that. Peace, A. I hope you got an A. I was originally going to show more than one picture but I'm extremely embarrassed of the 'being constrained' part, I freaked out when I saw the pictures. Well it was supposed to do that, sorta, but it freaked me out, so no thank you. Then I thought I'm gonna post more "free" pictures and I was trying to think of an artistic way to do it. Something like what my friend Sexy Beast would do, I envy her mad skilzz. Here's a link of something she did which I really liked: s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_le8czccmk71qzby3mo1_r1_1280.jpg
But due to my lack of mad skilzz, I settled for just posting one picture with different versions of it, care of Adobe Lightroom.

So I've been using Lightroom lately (and no, I did not use it to make my pictures yellowy in my previous posts, they really were naturally yellowy taken without flash). And I just love that program, it's so easy to use, not like photoshop which never ever fails to frustrate me, and I just recently discovered the many default settings in Lightroom, or I think you call it Filters, and I just clicked on them and got those three versions up there. Hooray, so that's probably as far as my mad skilzz go in photo editing. So yaay for Lightroom. So I realized I got sidetracked, I was going to talk about the original "Feelingera" title.

Feelingera because this is my feeling artistic with the post and the editing and shizz, also because I modeled for A (but she chose me because she's such a good friend hohoho), also because this makes me look like a ballerina (sorta) which has been my dream since ever. But I really like the picture, it sort of looks serene, and I'm almost never serene. But I can't help but feel if I'd be judged in ANTM, all the judges would say where did your other leg go, bla bla bla, but whatever, I liked this picture. I think it's the only one I liked in the bunch.
So this was taken beside Matteo, I think it's called Ocampo Field. It was so sunny and windy and tons of cars passing by. Awkward.

Top That's me with A fixing the ribbon thing. The dress is hers by the way, I liked it. I really considered borrowing it for Soph night the following day. Below That's another picture. I kind of like it, but I  don't know why I don't totally like it. I thin it's because of my face, I can never get have a jump shot with a relaxed face. Mmm. 

Raise your glass if you are wrong for all the right things.


You see, one of my many dreams is to be a magazine editor, not necessarily a fashion magazine since I wouldn't consider myself fashion forward but something like a lifestyle magazine, or if that's how you call it. I would just love to be paid to write about things I'd totally try and do for fun, like travel or maybe food or movies or whatever. So there. I've been wanting to share how I started my summer plus the significant stuff that happened before and I didn't know where to start. But after the first week of summer, I looked at my room and realized how chaotic it was and taught, I think I can explain more or less what happened through the clutter in my room. So here. As you can see I put little numbers on some objects just like in magazines (thus, the magazine editor dream introduction.) I'm so proud of myself. Hohoho.

Warning: This post will be a long narrative of my life spanning a few days. It will also be extremely random. I'd try to share some pictures in another post so this post won't take so long to load. 

On top of my dresser, or should I say, dressing table. 

1 Wound Ointment I have long stopped trying to treat my wounds with ointments. I can't even remember the last time I used this ointment but I recently had this approximately 2-cm cut in my left leg and I felt the need to do something about it. It left a scar, actually, I wonder how long before it would fade away, if it does. I hope it does at least. I got the wound after our Dancesports Finals in Savannah Moon. Yes, this is my last PE ever. I repeat, this is my last PE ever. I'm not exactly an athlete, I think I've already explained here somewhere  why I don't like sports, contact sports specifically. Basically it's because of a long string of bad experiences with sports, a lost earring and a number of wounds. So just because I think it's interesting enough to say, my PEs have been Ballroom Dancing, Tap Dancing, Table Tennis and Dancesports. Yaay.

Back to the wound, so our finals was a competition and I was part of the 3-Dances part of the competition. My partner is awesome, he's the best guy in our class and I've also danced with him for the Ateneo Dancesports Open (where we got in the Finals for Paso Doble, yaay.) Instead of dancing just 3 dances, I had to dance a total of 10 dances! I had to fill in for F who was still taking her Accounting test when her category started. Wonderful, it was fine at first. But then we got in the finals for both categories and we had to do everything twice. I was so exhausted, seriously, I shouldn't have danced during the break but all my favorite songs were playing, how could I not? So I am still extremely thankful and flattered that we got in the finals, though I think 90% of the reason was my partner, but it was really tiring. Plus, of course, the nasty wound I got which I  saw only after I got home. I was hit a lot of times because we were crowded in the dance floor. My arm was bruised because this guy accidentally hit it, then I was stepped on (or stomped on, actually) by this other guy, then of course the great kick (during Jive)  which left me the wound. Boo. The end. For those interested, we danced the Rumba, Chacha(cha, our teacher calls it chachacha but I thought it was chacha so now I'm confused.) and Jive. My favorite's the Jive. So fuuun. Okay this number 1 was longer than I expected, but whatever, now I wanna write another post for the Dancesports experience. :)) Soon.
2 Hippie Shades So I'll explain this later with another number. Basically this was the pair I was supposedly going to wear to my blockmate L's debut in Antipolo. It was an overnight pool party in the mountains of Antipolo. It was so cold. I brought the shades, stupidly realized later on that it was dark and people would shoot me if I wore shades, even though I was going for the hippie look that night. But I got to wear it the next day, when we were commuting back to Katipunan. It was an easy commute considering how far it was, even easier than my usual commute home. Anyways, so there's a whole story there when we went home, but it's extremely embarrassing and all I can say really is: thank you blockmates, you guys are the best! Oh and the shades were my mom's, I found it in her dresser/dressing table before and loved it. I am old fashioned, okay.
3 Earphones I got this from my fourth year classmate for our kris kringle, thanks B! The right piece is kind of missing a part already but I still use it anyways since it's my most decent pair of earphones. So I just put it here because before the hectic weekend started, I was catching up on Gossip Girl. My summer officially started on Wednesday of finals week. I went shopping for Soph Night on Thursday with A then I watched Gossip Girl Thursday night. (Just so you could get the whole picture. :)) ) Until now, I'm still behind all my other series, BBT, 90210, Chuck. Hopefully I get to watch everything before my break ends.
4 Soph Night Photo & 5 Pink Hairpiece So, Saturday night was our Sophomore's Night in QC Sports Club. I was late because I came from my brother's graduation which I will again explain later with another picture. No one in our block brought a camera, I forgot to grab mine when I left the car. I was so harassed then already because of all the changes and stuff. But whatever, we managed with E's and RP's very acceptable phone cameras and of course, friends from other blocks who took our pictures. Whee. The pink hairpiece is from Girlshoppe. I wore it last year in our block's Christmas party. It perfectly matched my dress, so I wore it. The night was great, though only a few people actually danced. I loved the drinks, they weren't too strong and they didn't taste like medicine. I can't say anything about the food because I wasn't able to eat there. I loved the stage design and all the decorations outside. We had an awesome time taking pictures with the giant lollipops outside the venue (our theme was Wonka). Mmm, I can't really say anything more about it except that it was fun and nice to see everyone look so pretty. :)
6 The Kit I don't know how to call it. I hate calling it Kikay Kit, maybe vanity kit is the better word? Whatever, this is my 'kit' for everyday use, just normal stuff like powder and stuff. This story behind this object comes with another object from another picture. The kit is from Clinique and was given to me by my lola from the States. 
7 Nail Buffer The Sunday of the first week of summer 2011, we had an afternoon snack with my mom's friend from Cebu and her former boss in The Block. Since it was mostly grownup talk, hohoho, my brother and I went around and looked for a router. So random. :)) Then we went back, then my brother left again, so I left too but this time I went to Etude House because I have always always been curious about the store. I've seen it everywhere and it's endorsed by Lee Min Ho!!! And since I'm broke, I could only look and admire the things displayed there. But, I saw this corner where there are random things/accessories or whatever, where I saw a nail buffer! I haven't buffed my nails since Grade 3 or 4 when they were such a big trend in school. I was always so amazed at the ability of a simple nail buffer to make your nails super shiny and glassy. So I asked money from my dad, went back and bought the magical thing. I buffed my nails a few days after and it made my nails shiny but I wasn't too amazed. I was missing the magic. Then I realized, well, things change and I grew up and learned that there are so many other things you can do with your nails like paint it, or French tip it, or draw things on it. I guess I just lost the simple awe of kids on random things around. Aww, so dramatic. :)) But really, I felt a little sad. Buffing my nails would never give me the same satisfaction it did back when I was in Grade School. Oh well, I just came from The Block again last weekend and bought eyeliner, can't wait to try it. Hopefully it's as good as everyone says it is.
8 New Bills & 9 Shades So the new bills are for E because she requested it the day before we went on our Maginhawa food trip. The fake wayfarers were from Bicol and I bought them for only P30. They're one of my favorites because I don't have to take care of it as much as I do for my other pairs. I can just stuff it in my bag with no worries. So these were the pair I wore when we went on our food trip. So I've explained the trip already, see previous post. :))
My Dresser minus the mirror plus some things around it.
 Yes, the post goes on, sorry this is taking longer than I expected. I'm starting to realize what I'd say in a normal conversation directly translates to my posts. Super messy and super long (and sometimes unnecessary). 

10 Paperbag & 13 Bangle Box The paper bag contained everything I needed for Saturday, for my brother's graduation and Soph Night afterwards. It had my Bangle Box which was a gift from M for my 18th birthday. One of my favorites (Is it rude to say you have a favorite gift? I think so, but I'm just saying it's one of my favorites.) I remember opening that gift, I was so shocked to see the different bangles inside, oh the joy. Anyways it has been part of most events I go to, thanks M! So I just brought the whole thing with me because I didn't really think of what I'd actually wear with my dress. The bag also contained my pseudo jewelry box, it's just pseudo because it doesn't contain real jewelry, just those fashion ones (I just forgot how it's called. Mmm). Then also the black bag which I used, and my 6 The Kit. I changed and fixed my hair and face in Chili's where we ate dinner after graduation. It's great they have a decent bathroom and it was also good that we were put on the waiting list for a while so I had time to fix myself. I was so stressed because I felt I left some things I needed in the car and had to leave then I felt like they were already eating so I had to leave again, then apparently still no free tables, so I went back, then I left, then I went back. So finally, after eating, we went to the venue and panicked because I realized I had no idea which accessories I was gonna wear and I haven't transferred my stuff from my graduation bag to my black bag. I realized this when we were already in front of the venue, in that driveway upward sloping thingy. Panic because other cars were coming, so well, it's not a shock how I forgot to get the digicam. Great, it's a good thing I didn't leave anything else.

11 Favorite Bag This was the bag I used for the graduation. I forgot the brand, I'll try and check again later, but it's not popular, I think. It's this cute little boxy bag with the nice lock. It's from my Lola and she said she never used it and when I saw it, I just loved it. Loooved it. I just wish I could use it more often because it's tiny and can only fit my phone and hanky and bills without the wallet.

12 Second Bag I used this bag the following day for the afternoon snack thing. It's from the same Lola who gave it to me on the same day I got 11. It's Liz Claiborne and you could see that it's really old. The strap's color is fading already, just the way I like it. Again, I love old things, ever since. I don't know where I got it. So this is one of my more used bags since it's big and it has a lot of pockets and stuff. It's so handy. :)

So obviously when I transfer my things to other bags, I just leave them there on the floor. I'm such a messy person (but I am organized on all other things, for the record). I even leave some things in some bags and find them years after. So strange, but I am trying to change that now. I am tired of losing things. Seriously. 

14 Bayong Bag I used this for Friday, for LK's debut. So I mentioned I was going for the hippie style, I'm not exactly sure if this is hippie. It's probably not, but it was a pool party and I felt bringing this bag, which looks beach-y. I don't remember where I got this but I think it was just a giveaway somewhere, but it's big enough and it's a bayong. Simple and nice. So, the bag is still actually full with my clothes, which I was supposedly going to use for swimming but I backed out. It was so called up there, extremely cold. So we just dipped our legs and took tons of pictures and sang and drank and danced with this guy I call Finals Guy.I will add him in fb as soon as they post the pictures so I can just follow his link. He's this new friend we made there, he's from UP. He had finals the next day but still got very drunk and swam and sang and all. Finals guy. :)) Awesome.

15 Malongs Last but not the least is this pile of malongs beside my dresser. We had our SA presentation the week before finals week and we were supposed to be the Iranun Tribe, a Malay tribe (somewhat). So I had to look for my Tito's and Mom's malongs up in cabinets and stock rooms. My Tito loves collecting stuff like this. On the other hand, I have no idea why mom has so many. So I was too lazy to fix them after the presentation that they were still there, it's a good thing I took it out of the bag. Actually I just took it out of the bag because I needed to get my bangle box and other things from it. :)) But whatever. I'm not sure if there are pictures of our presentation, I'll try to look. Mhmm. It was so funny, pinanindigan na lang namin na funny siya. Gally. It's a good thing our teacher liked it, I think. 

Yaay, so that concludes my very long post. Honestly I don't know how to end it now, somewhere along the very long way, I lost track of what I was trying to do here but since it's so long already, whatever, it'd be a waste not to post this. So there goes the first 3-4 days of my summer freedoooom. I looove summer. I wanna go to the beach now. NOW NA. Ohwell. And yes my room is yellow and orange and yes I am a very messy girl (who is trying to change her ways) and yes this was just a narration of my days hidden in a different format. Yaay. 

Ang love parang linya sa parking lot, hindi hinahanap. -Michael Serquina